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The Official CWAL FAQ
[ Last Updated 02.20.2004 ]

What is CWAL?
Operation CWAL (which stands for Can't Wait Any Longer) was originally founded by Iolaus and Supernook, two frequent visitors of the Starcraft Suggestion forums on Battle.net. Tired of their boredom while waiting for Starcraft, they chose to invade Blizzard's Headquarters in Irvine, California and retrieve the Starcraft Beta for themselves. They had no idea that their light-hearted call to arms would become so popular. The group would receive recognition from Blizzard itself, with a cheat code in its name and a blurb in Starcraft's credits. Operation CWAL continues the grand storytelling tradition today, with considerably more members than there were during its rapid development in November of 1997.

Is CWAL a clan?
No, it is a state of mind. While CWAL now does have a clan on Battle.net under the same name, CWAL itself is rather un-clannish. And for those of you who refuse to accept this answer... well you should have thought of that before we left the house. Yes, I do mean that African Hippos are too heavy to play ice hockey.

What's with CWL? Is that just a typo?
A number of factions now exist in the CWAL universe. Some of these are true subgroups, while others are more accurately labeled plot devices. CWL (Can Wait Longer) fits mostly into the latter. It was the original writer-developed antagonistic force, having been introduced in a story by a CWAL writer. Fictionally, they were under the command of Cavedog, the company responsible for the game Total Annihilation. Their ranks consisted primarily of evil clones, providing a rather convenient assurance that they'd be CWAL's opposite. For the most part, however, CWL was only maintained by CWAL authors in need of a villain, so it has never been a true subgroup.

So what about all those other weirdos?
OEEP/KC (Organization for the Enslavement of Earth's Population/Killing CWAL) was pioneered by Joe, who after a short stay came to the conclusion that CWAL was not chaotic enough and that he could do better. For various reasons after the group's formation, Joe was ditched as the party's leader in favor DarkAngel, who continues in that position today. During the fall from grace in the Pilot's Lounge, they were nullified along with another less infamous party known as XILE. At this point in time, an OEEP revival has occurred, but we have yet to see a great effect in their return. PFBS (Players For a Better Starcraft, founded by Dark Nexus) once made a rare cameo, apparently seeking a balance of powers. They eventually changed their name to COTS (Circle of the Shadows), and continue to post a tale every now and then. The Zerg Canadians are not so much a subgroup as they are Ravil's personal demolition team, and CARV (Citizens Advocating Random Violence, founded by Dorg) mostly runs around making non-canon messes.

The CWAL Newbie Patrol is just a bunch of infant CWAL authors who do silly things and don't respect their elders. Dangum whippersnappers.

CWAL has also dedicated forces to the release of several other games, including CWAL Hunt Valley and their completed quest for Alpha Centauri, CWAL: Team17 and their rescue of Worms: Armageddon, and the ongoing struggle of CWAL: Homeworld to retrieve the game of their namesake.

SoS (Souls of Sin) writes serious stories in the world of Diablo II and maintains a complete separation from CWAL in all respects but its writers. Their work appears primarily in the Rubber Room since it is the medium most familiar to these authors. They have an established site within CWAL's homepage, which can be found here.

OTOW (Organization for Taking Over Worlds) writes varied stories in the world of Starcraft and is also not a part of the CWAL universe. It is, however, operated by a number of OEEP's members and has had an occasional reference to CWAL events.

How many members are there in CWAL?
Popular opinion is that over 90 individuals have a developed CWAL characters at some point. However, in an attempt to find a more exact count, Mu has been taking note of all unique individuals to post in the Rubber Room since April 7, 1999. Although he has failed to peruse the forums carefully in the past few weeks, his list currently contains 87 (as of January 2000) impressions, almost all of which are CWALers. Combining this with the vast number of long-retired CWALers who have not posted in the Rubber Room, the popular guess of 90 becomes somewhat low. Then one must factor in the "lurkers"...those lowly souls who frequent our forum and even maintain a voiced presence, but have never been interested in writing for CWAL. The actual number of characters, however, is far greater, due to most authors' tendency to create every little thing that pops into their heads.

For a more current figure(Winter 2004) on how many people visit the Rubber Room, on any given day, the CWAL Rubber Room registers page impressions from some 256 Unique IP addresses. When factoring in people using non-static IP's and CWALers viewing from multiple places (like work and home), as well as the instances of multiple CWALers now posting from the same residence(and IP), it's difficult to say how close to the real number of vistors this is, though an estimate of 200 doesn't seem too unreasonable.

How do I join CWAL?
See the Joining Instructions.

Where can I find CWAL stories?
The Rubber Room currently supports the bulk of recent CWAL literature, and is where you will typically find initiation stories and everybody's favorite dish, raw brain spew. For the really old stuff, dating back to day one, check out The CWAL Archives, maintained by Fjorxc. You can also check out the Library.

Where can I find CWAL maps?
We used to keep a running archive of member maps on our website. The system is currently down as of this writing, due to lack of interest in map creation by the majority of the group. If you'd like to see the map page return, e-mail TheDeamon and feel free to volunteer your services in putting it back online.

Where are you, Really, Really Big Man?
Alright, boys and girls, time to lay off the animal crackers.

Who are the administrators of this madness?
There have been many who have held the title of "admin" over the past couple years, changing with each incarnation of our forum. Currently, the administrators of the Rubber Room are Celeloriel, Gaval, Lothos, ßetaMantis, Namrok, Razael and undertow. Dark Nexus handles the CGI scripts which result in a functional Rubber Room. And no, for all of you who keep asking, Mu is not an admin anymore. Of course, he is the brain behind the normal Rubber Room layout, and should be worshipped as such. He also maintains the CWAL backup forum, the Storm Cellar.
Undertow maintains another forum used for backup puposes as the Storm Cellar has continued to degrade over time.

The current ringleader for the madness on CWAL.net is TheDeamon who is somewhat in control of everything going on here at cwal.net, cwal.org, and rubberrooms.net; by virtue of his controlling the server they occupy space on, as well as the domain names. He has two other people that help administer the server. The unlucky sole that is stuck doing most of the work is VéKTöR as he actually maintains the server at present. While Phasmus gets to determine administrative policy in TheDeamon's absence.

Just how many message boards do you people have?!
We own all message boards. We own everything. We own YOU. Resistance is futile.

What's with these other message boards on CWAL.net?
The Phasmus & Co. Liquidation Facility, Untitled Number Forum, The Slanty Shanty Shack, Horkthane Hentai Hut, Ogden's Tavern and Starcraft Suggestions Forum are other layouts for the Rubber Room. They all work off the same posts, and thus have the same content. They just display it differently. However, they are not officially supported, and should be used at one's own risk. They are, however, unofficially maintained by TheDeamon, and as such, expect a nasty response if you ask Dark Nexus to do anything with them.

Is there any place to make sense of it all?
When making a new post in the Rubber Room there is a list of links on the right hand side of the screen. This is a normally handy reference for other forums that CWALers may demonstrate an interest in from time to time.

Why do so many of your names start with "Dark"?
Many CWALers are not afraid of the dark, and demonstrate this by either placing its name before their own or brutally massacring a Winnie the Pooh night-light. Though one of these is by far more entertaining, forthcoming legal actions by Disney are expected to encourage the strain of "Dark" CWALers.

I posted my initiation story, but nobody has reviewed it. Why?
Most CWALers are lazy, egotistical bastards, and your story sucked.

Can you rephrase that last answer in a kinder, gentler way?
No.

Why are you being so mean to us?
The previous two questions were responded to by Maelstrom. Please feel free to give him hell. (Insert evil laugh here)

I posted my initiation story, but only newbies rated it. Why?
Ok... maybe we are lazy, egotistical bastards.

How do I avoid being yelled at on the Rubber Room?

  • Don't bring up politics.
  • Don't bring up religion.
  • Don't bring up economics.
  • Don't bring up Mu's cupcake obsession
  • Don't bring up the sexual orientation of other CWALers
Now, this isn't to say that you shouldn't bring up these topics, but several CWALers are very quick to jump into a debate and things get ugly fast. Be prepared, and keep in mind that the admins may delete the thread if it grows to big. Also, reading the posting guidelines before posting might be a good idea too.

Where can I chat with you guys?
If you have good timing, you can catch handfuls of CWALers in our channel on battle.net. Classically, conversations grow rather unusual there, though presently fewer people lurk in chat than in the past. CWAL does, however, have a healthy community established via ICQ, and we encourage you to use it for extended contact with us. You can find a list of our contacts on this site.

Does Dark Chrono really tap dance?
No, Dark Chrono does not tap dance. His dancing skills were left inside the Blizzard computer after the StarCraft finale, and no one knows where they went from there, though the National Enquirer did run a story about a killer robot with Blizzard painted on the back giving tap lessons...

Is it true that veterans don't write anymore?
Although many elder CWALers have ceased writing, there are veteran CWALers who continue their work. Unfortunately, at least one of these authors is so slow that their work might never see the light of day. Certain veterans reportedly prefer to convert writing into sorts of Easter eggs. Go figure.

What the #$^@ is wrong with these Canadians?!
These Canadians, as we know them, generally aren't bad people by themselves. Give them a national holiday, though, and watch out. Fueled by patriotism and unholy quantities of their cherished alcohol, the Canucks will stop at nothing to turn their relatively normal strengths into vile, disgusting weapons of evil.

What the #$^@ is wrong with these Americans?!
These Americans, as we know them, generally aren't bad people by themselves. Have somebody else want to celebrate a national holiday though, and watch out. When a non-american tries to show some pride and patriotism, the Yanks stop acting like they normally do and start behaving like the stereotype known the world over, considering that pride and patriotism to be devoutly anti-American.

Why does Snapper always update the FAQ right after Mu?
Snapper is a very insecure individual and needs to constantly remind people of his contributions (or lack thereof) to the FAQ by making sure his name is listed as Curator. That and Mu forgot a paragraph tag.

Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you want to buy a pair of batteries?
Radio Shack operates under the false pretense that their batteries get lonely and must receive phone calls from their first charger on a regular basis. In reality, this is only the case with the red Clickster .5 mm mechanical pencils, which are not sold at Radio Shack.

Got a problem? Need emotional support? Well, tough beans, you're not getting any.

But if you'd like to see a question added to the FAQ, you can contact us at the following:

    TheDeamon - Current FAQ Curator
    Snapper - Former FAQ Curator
    Dark Nexus - Guy who updates all these document pages whenever he feels like it
    Mu - Former FAQ Curator and closet cream cupcake collector
    Arcturus - Creator of Original FAQ
    Dark Chrono - Zealot Accused of Tap Dancing
    Maelstrom - Said, "...lazy, egotistical bastards, and your story sucked."

CWAL Central V 4.0

Copyright © 2003 Operation CWAL. All Rights Reserved Throughout the Multiverse.