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Open Doors by The V Man
[Scene: CWAL HQ - May 20, 2007 - Noon][Stories By Author] [Stories By Title] [Search Stories]
(Several CWALers mill around the kitchen and coffee bar in the oldest part of the Starbucks. Some are preparing dishes that look to be edible, while others appear closer to poison. Few people noticed either. An intergalactic radio playing the latest mix straight from Klagbrizingi chimes in the background. The music skips and jumps - unusual interference for a direct subspace atomic feed.)
Lothos: Ah-hah! My famous 'Eggs-a-la-pickled spam' are complete! Lower intestines beware!
Grorx: That's horrendous...and also moving.
Lothos: It's what I call an 'adventure dish' - never the same twice!
Grorx: Uhm, sure. Perhaps you'd like to keep it form eating the pan that it was cooked in though.
Lothos: Non-sense! I--
(An intercom crackles on)
Intercom: -^ *kssshk* All veteran staff in the war room, now. *kssshk* ^-
Intercom: -^ Hundreds of dollars in static-free equipment and you say *kssshk* when you speak on the intercom. ^-
Intercom: -^ *kssshk* Shoosh! *kssshk* ^-
Lothos: Oops gotta go. C'mon Grorxy.
Grorx: But, but my food - it's defenseless!
Lothos: Now you see the cunning of my culinary creation.
Grorx: Stop that.
Lothos: Then c'mon!
(Lothos drags a protesting Grorx into the war room)
[CWAL HQ - War Room]
(Several assembled CWALers are reclined in their seats. Pez is standing in front of a white board with several impressive looking devices sitting ont he table in front of him.)
Pez: This is all we're going to get is it?
(Lothos, Grorx, Mu, MAGGOTT and Gunslinger look at one another and shrug. Several CWALers of slightly newer vintage enter and take their seats)
Pez: Ah. About time you showed. I guess we won't hold strict on the 'veteran' business since we're a little light on attendance today.
(undetow, V Man, Morpher and Patriot shrug and mutter amongst themselves)
Pez: Shoosh. I've called everyone in because we've got a problem. You may have noticed our subspace feed from Klagbrizingi has been picking up a lot of interference. This can only mean one thing...
Patriot: Does this affect our internet connections?
Pez: ...I-- no, no it doesn't. As I was--
Patriot: ..because some people say that MAGGOTTONIAN porn is vile but...
Pez: You really should stop talking now.
Patiot: Duly noted.
Pez: Good. Now, I ran a frequency scan on the interference and have found that the signal can be localized in space, but it seems to be broadcasting to several different periods in time. And not only that it seems to be hopping dimensional gateways.
Lothos: Does it have the Gatekeeper's permission?
V Man: I AM THE KEYMASTER!
(Laughter and high-5's are passed about. Pez waves Mu off as he is about to administer a rather large sedative to the Kiwi)
Pez: No, that's ok Mu, we need him conscious for the time being. *Ahem* No, the problem is that it seems to be broadcasting to and FROM CWAL HQ. If an enterprising Pezlandian, such as myself, were to track, tap and harness this signal - we would theoretically hop through to any of the destinations that this signal goes to, and perhaps, even from.
Gunslinger: I think at the very least, we need to investigate. Can you rig up a monitor of some kind so we can see what's going on?
Pez: I'm 5.492 steps ahead of you. Not only can we see, we can hear.
(Pez turns a monitor around to face the group)
Pez: I've hard wired a receiver into our mainframe and, after bribing Rask with a little network quiet time...
Patriot: YOU! You canceled those downloads! I'll have you know it's not everywhere you can find a women with eight--
MAGGOT: SILENCE THE HEATHEN. Or *I* will.
(Patriot is forcefully shut up)
Pez: ...you can view the feed on any station within CWAL HQ. I'll be monitoring it myself periodically, but we'll need everyone to stay on top of any new developments. I'll be working on possible communications with whoever created this little broadcast to find out exactly what is going on. I don't think we can rule out the recent StarCraft 2 announcement as a possible cause however.
Gunslinger: We should keep our eyes peeled across the road as well. You never know what could go on over there.
[Scene: Blizzard Corporate Headquarters - CEO's Office]
(The CEO throws several game pieces in the air, then looks across the board at his opponent, Slinky.)
CEO: Don't look at me like that!
CEO: I won fair and square.
CEP: Oh fine. Un-Yahtzee.