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The Coronation by The V Man


(CWAL HQ is covered in banners, streamers and other party gear. Posters of Maggott are plastered over most walls sporting election campaign slogans in the bid for 'Emperor 2007'.)

Maggott: Excellent, with the election won, I reign supreme as Emperor.

Frugle: Like there was any chance you WOULDN'T. Your only competition was a half eaten wedge of cheese - which you bribed, and Jolt - who you shot repeatedly until he left town.

Maggott: SILENCE THE INFIDEL. And also throw him in the tentacle pit.

Frugle: Nooooooooooo!

(Frugle is dragged off by burly men in short pants.)

Maggott: Now, let my coronation BEGIN!

Iolaus: Coronation, Maggott? This is bad comedy.

Maggott: Shush. My empire, my rules.

[Meanwhile, in CARV HQ]

(Inside CARV HQ is covered with streamers of body fluid. Various appliances are strewn about, clearly spent form the horror of 'Kazz-luvin')

Kazz: Sweet! With my bodily fluids spread as far as I can see, I reign supreme as Humper of all things Humpable and non-Humpable!

Dorg: Humper of all things Humpable and non-Humpable? Is there anything you classify as 'non-humpable'?

Kazz: Technically no. But shuttup! It's time for my coronation!

Dorg: Cononation, Kazz? This is bad LSD.

Kazz: Silence foul trashcan!

(Kazz jumps on Skinny who gallops about the room.)

[Meanwhile, in Space]

(An asteroid field is covered with various mechanical and electronic party decorations)

Megatron: I claim this asteroid field in the name of the decepticons - or whatever the hell we call ourselves these days. Decepticons, CORONATE!

Starscream: Coronate?

Megatron: Uhh. Decepticons, CORONATION....time?

Starscream: Coronation, Megatron? This is bad Energon.

(Starscream looks down into his glass, which is filled with small glowing cubes)

Megatron: Decepticons, KING ME!

(The Decepticons look at one another in confusion)

[Meanwhile, in the White House]

(George W. Bush sits on the floor in the middle of the oval office with a clearly homemade crown of tinfoil and a blanket tied around his neck.)

GWB: Huh huh huh huh huh!


(Iolaus turns into a laser cannon and shoots everyone)

Maggott: Why do you have to make everything about you?


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Scripts 2001 CWAL.net. Stories the individual authors, and used with limited permission. Do not copy stories to another location without the express permission of the individual author(s).